Spiritual Abuse and Bodily Autonomy
Originally posted on Tears of Eden
Content warning: abortion
When I first heard about the leaked opinion on the overturning of Roe v. Wade, I was surprised by the bodily reaction I had. I could feel the ache of adrenaline in the back of my neck. My stomach rolled. My thoughts scattered, then focused on what this ruling would mean.
I was raised to be “pro-life,” taught that abortion is evil and that this was The Moral Issue of our time. The overturning of Roe was always the goal, according to my parents and my church.
I was also not taught anything about the concepts of consent or bodily autonomy, or what sex is or how birth control works. I understood that I would learn about sex when I got married and that birth control was a sinful attempt to “play God.”
As a stay-at-home daughter in the Christian patriarchy movement, I was told my life’s purpose: to get married and have children. There was no room for disagreement or real choice. I belonged to my father until he gave me to another man to be his wife. In a sense, I was little more than property.
Bible verses were used to justify my oppression:
“You are not your own.”
“The heart is deceitful above all things.”
“The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband.”
These cherry-picked words guilted me into believing that I had no right to choose what happened to me. All I was supposed to do was obey my father, and then my husband. That was the only way for God to bless me.
When I eventually got out of the movement, I realized how this was a tactic of spiritual abuse to keep me under control. It took years for me to start to understand how spiritual abuse was tied to my own sense of bodily autonomy and sexuality, and it was difficult to pull myself free from these destructive beliefs that I had been fed since birth.
I have been deeply affected by the church’s teaching on the issue of reproductive freedom, and I understand that it is a complicated, sensitive topic for all of us. In my experience, the white American Christian church has been very rigid in its views on abortion, while simultaneously remaining silent on issues of bodily autonomy and consent.
So when I see the pro-life movement focusing on criminalization more than paid parental leave, subsidized childcare, better pre- and post-natal healthcare, social equity, and issuing just consequences for abusers within the church (e.g. the recent SBC report), I’m concerned that the drivers of the movement are about control more than life.
That is why the overturning of Roe caused a bodily reaction in me. Because I’ve lived most of my life without true bodily autonomy, and now it feels like those same spiritual abusers who controlled my body are now trying to do so with the power of politics.